Some things you just can never get away from no matter how hard you try. Hostile dictators may come to mind, but I was alluding to something even more enveloping. I like to refer to them as the three tyrants of the food world. You know what they are but might not have ever had their true identity revealed to you: syrup, honey, and molasses. You got it. Syrup and honey so sweet and savory. Good on just about everything, if you really think about it. Including molasses might leave you in question, but then phrases like "slow as molasses" or "sticky as molasses" come to mind and you're quickly enlightened.
Catastrophe struck the corner cupboard of our kitchen last night. Molasses you gooey icky substance! Why did you have to spill everywhere and get all over everything? You are so delectable in ginger snaps and the like. To quote Mulan's father, "I know my place. It is about time you learned yours," Molasses.
So why call these yummy delicacies tyrants. Because no matter how hard you try, they always end up getting on you somehow. You can't get away from their clutches. Have you ever finished eating pancakes with syrup, trying ever so hard not to get syrup anywhere but on your plate, and suddenly its on you arm just below your elbow. What?! Or the times you make a peanut butter and honey sandwich and suddenly there's a big ole spot of honey on the counter and your knuckles feel like somethings trying to glue them together. No matter how hard you try to stay clean and sticky free, they always seem to goop you somehow, most often in odd places. Just ask any mother who's giving her child a bath after grandpa decided to make pancakes for family breakfast on Sunday. Luckily for us water is the master cleaner and those tyrants are no match for its awesome powers.
The molasses we keep in the corner cupboard got knocked over sometime yesterday and had been spilling its guts all over the shelf throughout the night. It looked like those environmentally devastating oil spills that used to show up all over the news when we were kids. The poor duckys and geese. I decided to take pictures and blog about it while I cleaned up the mess. Even though I was wearing gloves, somehow molasses oozed it way onto our nice camera. I don't know how it does it.
Allison got really upset with me for getting molasses on our camera. Who wouldn't? Although an accident, who knows what that sticky goop would have done if it had gotten in a crack or something. I was fortunate it was a surface problem only, and my carelessness didn't cause any damage. I would've taken a picture of that too for effect, but it would have kinda tough. With all that said, we won't mention who spilled the molasses in the first place.
I know how feel Boyd. Remember I was so bad about getting things on my shirt when I ate I had to come up with the dirty shirt to avoid stains (didn't work well on dates). I hate sticky hands. All this reminds me of how if you're wearing a long sleeve shirt and you're brushing your teeth it's like required that you have droplets of water get under your sleeve and go all the way to your elbow. I hate that too! you spilled the molasses didn't you, you poop face?
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